Goodbye Steven
by hollie-x
Summary: Brendan decides he can't be around Ste anymore, harbouring feelings while seeing him with Doug and resolves to move away. But what if Ste doesn't want him to?
1. Chapter 1

Hey, Just a little one-shot fic based loosely on the events of tonight's e4 episode. Just to let you know I have added a few of my own bits in as well

Written In Brendan Brady's Point of view :)

Hope you enjoy! xx

**Goodbye, Steven.**

I must have stood outside that door for a good 10 minutes or so before I actually built up the courage to knock. I'd been mulling it over the last few hours; how I would word what I wanted to say to Steven. I'd practiced my speech numerous times, yet here I was still thinking it over and over in my head working out how to phrase it. I knew Douglas would be home, he hadn't left Steven's side since he'd been discharged from hospital so it wasn't like I could tell him my real feelings towards him, the way I can't help but stare into his eyes when I talk to him, how I get the butterflies in my stomach that only 14 year old girls are supposed to feel for their first crush...

So there I was 10 minutes after I'd arrived bringing my fist up to the door, the noise that would signal an end to the hope, I suppose, that me and Steven would eventually get back together, be a proper couple...

He looked so perfect when he opened the door. Sure he'd been run over, been in a coma for a week and only been released from hospital a few days beforehand but if anything he'd gotten more attractive. His eyes stared into mine, and I stared back for a split second before they darted down to his jumper. I was going to comment on how hideous it was but I thought better of it. I'd probably be thrown out before I'd even said what I came here for in the first place. My eyes moved back up to Steven, they didn't have the longing in them that they had just a few seconds previous. They showed something different..

'What you doing here?' Steven asked me. How do I reply to that? I decided that I shouldn't, first I need to know that he's okay.

'How you getting on? Okay?'

Steven took in a sharp intake of breath, I wasn't sure if that was because he was in pain or he literally know how to answer me. Was he lost for words?

'Im fine'

See, my names Brendan Brady. I know when people lie and right at that moment I knew Steven was lying to me. He wasn't fine. I wanted to take his face in my hand right there and then and bring it back up to my eye level, but I was pretty sure his fian...husband wouldn't appreciate me doing so.

'Was wondering if I could have a word..won't take long' I pushed past Steven at that moment, nothing violent, just enough so I could get into the flat. That's when I noticed Douglas sitting there on the sofa with a cardigan as hideous as Steven's, wine glass full on the table. Lovely that, drinking when your other half is on medication and can't drink, rub in his face why don't you? I nearly laughed actually the sight of a giant crocodile on the corner of the sofa, almost looking like it was sitting on his shoulder and there Douglas was not even acknowleding my presence.

'Douglas' I gave a little nod. He didn't respond to me. It was blatent he wouldn't. He was obviously scared of what I would reveal to Steven. I know the _whole story _and I know that Steven doesn't know the whole story. That actually makes me a little smug now come to think of it one nil to the Brady.

I turned round again to face Steven. I didn't know he was so near to me, our faces were literally inches apart and I could feel his breath on me. I couldn't help but stare at his mouth, licking his lips. God, I still fancy that boy...

'Sorry to disturb your evening, I just wanted to let you know that I'm selling this place.'

OH BRENDAN WHY ARE YOU SO BLUNT? I'd practiced this so many times, all the other options I had were less painful, less nasty.

'Is this a joke' Steven replied.

'I like to think I'm funnier than that.'

I could have sworn I'd seen a little smile in the corner of Steven's perfect mouth after my last remark. I always did make him laugh, even when we wasn't...together.. I could still get a smile off of him, cheer him up when his down. I hope Douglas does the same.

'Well you can't! We've got rights! We need time to find a new place!'

'I'm not asking you to go anywhere Steven, if you wanna stay you can'

For a moment, I'd forgotten that myself and Steven weren't alone. We never were these days, up popped Douglas flaming Carter. 'What's the catch Brendan?'

'There is no catch Douglas, but thanks for asking'

I looked back into Steven's eyes, I've never really noticed how amazing they were before, so sparkly, but holding so much pain.

'The rent is fixed, they can't kick you out... the exact same but a different landlord...'

'It's all a bit sudden aint it?'

It was. It was sudden but Steven was unaware the pact I had made with the big man. That I had promised to leave Steven alone to get on with his life if he let him live. Steven deserved to live.

'Yeah...well I'm sure you know more than most life is short.. I wanna make the most of it..move on I guess?'

It was Steven this time who gazed back at me, bringing his eyes to mine. He actually looked distraught, believe it or not. That's what I'm telling myself anyway.

'You're leaving?'

'Mhm..Places to go, people to see, that kinda stuff'

Steven didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. Douglas didn't say anything. We were all speechless. I'd just told the love of my life that I was leaving, leaving him and my old life behind and starting a new one. I wasn't exactly expecting him to beg me to stay but I expected some sort of emotion.

'Just wanted to tell you in person you know..'

'Well thanks?'

Thanks? All Steven could say to me was thanks? Thanks for what? For telling him I'm going? For telling him myself before Cheryl or somebody else blabbed?

'Thats okay' I didn't really know what else to say. I could feel our last ever conversation together coming to an almighty end. I didn't want it to stop. I'd talk about complete shit if it meant I could spend another 5 minutes in his company.

I turned to Douglas again. I don't really know why but I could feel him staring through me. He really was apprehensive of what I was going to say. I'd never do that to Steven though. He has just proved to me he loves Douglas, however deluded that sounds and I wanted him to have a good life, the best life. Even if Douglas was trying to get me out of the picture it was for a good intention..

'I'll see myself out..night'

I slammed the door shut quickly, I could feel my tears starting to flow. Looking up to the ceiling I whispered 'There you go, done.'

I couldn't control my crying. I wanted him so bad, I just wanted to hug him, stroke his hair, just have him in my arms and that was never going to happen now. I wasn't allowed anymore contact with him throughout my entire life. This was the end. I touched the door.

'Goodbye Steven, I love you'

**Please review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey, well I know I originally wrote this story based on the events of one of the e4 episodes but I'm in such a shippy mood right now I felt like continuing on. I promise there will be no punch in this story. Cross my heart & Hope to die!

**Ste's POV**

I can't sleep. I reach for my phone on the bedside cabinet. 01.08. It's so fucking hot in this bedroom, I've got Doug basically laying on me and the heating on full blast because '_he's always cold.' _I've only just been released from hospital yet here he is draped over me, crushing all my muscles. I need to move. I carefully grab his hand from my stomach and place it on his own and slowly creep out of the bed. My backs completely fucked. I want to scream out in pain, but manage to hold it in, walking over to the bedroom door and close it shut.

I walk into the kitchen area, reach for glass and fill it up with water, downing the lot. I reach for my clothes drying on the radiator. Yep they'd definately be dry by now. I feel like I'm in bloody Africa now with this heating, not that I've ever been there but Amy tells me it's hot. After somehow managing to squeeze into my trackies, getting the hoodie over my head and slipping my trainers on, I walk out of the front door. I don't even know where I'm going, just a walk I suppose. Walking might make me tired.

* * *

I've never really noticed how peaceful the village is at night, how calm and sparse it is. I start to head over to the fountain and then something stops me in my tracks. Brendan is there, sitting at the fountain.

'Steven..' Brendan whispers.

'Erm Hi? What you doing out here?'

'Couldn't sleep, my mind kept thinking of stuff'

'Like what?' Why did I even ask that question? It wasn't any of my buisness, even if I did want him to say that he was thinking about me, because I sure as hell was thinking about him.

'Just things.' He took a breath. 'We had good times didn't we Steven? It wasn't all bad'

Something shocked me then. Was he talking about our past? Lots of thoughts raced through my head at the moment. The kisses, the flutters I'd still get deep within my stomach whenever Brendan texted me. I still got those flutters now to be honest, not that he texted me that often but that wasn't the point.

'Yeah we did. Lots of good times. I wouldn't change any of them either you know. I'll always remember'

'Me either, me either Steven' Brendan looked up and smiled at me then. I just wanted to hold his hand, shoulder anything really. He looked so upset. Did he even want to leave the village?

'Why are you really leaving Brendan? I don't believe you'd just go without a perfectly good reason. Are you in trouble again?'

'No'

'The kids okay?'

'Ye there fine'

'What then? You can tell me you know'

'You'

What had Brendan just told me? It took me a second to get my head around it. You. He was leaving the village because of me? I've done nothing wrong what the fuck.

'But I aint done anything Bren?' He obviously noticed my confused expression then.

'I know. I'm leaving cos all I ever do is fuck things up for ye. Ye need to get on with ye life with Douglas, don't need me keep watching everything ye do. I'm trouble, so ye I need to go.'

Brendan went to get up then but something made me touch his elbow.

'Steven don't...'

'Brendan don't go.'

'I need to it's nearly 2 in the morning Steven.'

'No I mean don't leave, stay in Hollyoaks please. For me.'

'For ye? Ye don't need me Steven

'Maybe I do though'

What was I even saying? I wanted Brendan to stay in the village? That was the first thing my mind had told me of it, but I suppose it was true. A life without Brendan Brady in it would be well..boring, uneventful. We'd grew close over the last few weeks. I counted him as a friend, somebody who I could confide in, somebody who helped me when I was smashing up the deli. I like Brendan Brady. I really like Brendan Brady.

'Ye don't Steven.. goodnight.'

* * *

**Sorry lots of dialogue in this I know. Next chapter won't be as much :)**

**Review etc etc xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Felt like continuing this one, so hopefully I still have readers. If not it doesn't matter, I'll still write it :)**

Ste's POV

'Night then.'

Brendan turned round to smile at me. He actually smiled at me, and my heart fluttered. My heart never flutters with Doug, just lately he just get's right on my nerves. Every little thing niggling away at me. I know he's been good to me over the last few months but he isn't the one I want, not deep down. I really am kidding myself believing Brendan doesn't care about me, of course he fucking cares. He cared enough to sit there with me at the hospital, even with his obvious hatred for my partner. He cared enough to make sure the new landlord will keep my rent fixed so I wasn't paying more than I intended to. He does care doesn't he? Right?

It's true what I said aswell. I do need him in my life, and I do want him in my life. A life without Brendan flamin' Brady in it isn't worth thinking about, it would basically be well..dull.

I went over in my head what Brendan had said to me, almost analysing it. 'I'm leaving cos all I ever do is fuck things up for you. You need to get on with your life with Douglas, don't need me keep watching everything you do. I'm trouble, so yeah I need to go.'

_What if I don't want to get on with my life with Doug? What if I do want him watching what I do? What if I don't want him to go._

* * *

Brendan's POV

Did I just hear that right? Did Steven just ask me not to go? Well technically he _told _me not to go. Did he expect me to stay here and watch him build a life with his husband? Really? I knew Steven wanted to be friends with me and I knew that Doug hated the thought of that. He hated me and Steven being in the same room together, even if he was also present. He was scared of me releasing what really happened on the wedding day. Trust me, there were moments over the last week or so that I really wanted to tell Steven what Doug had been up to, tell him how he was perfectly happy for me to be behind bars for years, just to get me away from Steven. But I resisted.

I knew that I had to get away from the village and I didn't want to rake up all the past with Danny and the beatings that left burning red marks and broken bones etched in Steven's memory. I wanted him to actually like me just a little, not hate me like he used to, see that I've changed I suppose. I still loved him of course I did but I can't do this to him anymore, mess with his head. That's why I'm gonna leave bright and early tomorrow, so Steven and Cheryl will be none the wiser. But that boy he does things to me, I mean I've just got a text message from him and my mouth is grinning like a fucking chesire cat that's just got the cream. I have to say goodbye properly...

* * *

Ste's POV

I can't go back to the flat. Ever since Brendan came into my head today, he hasn't left it. I love him don't I?

I need to tell him don't I? Before he you know..fucks out of my life forever. He needs to know. It's up to him if he still wants to go, but either way I can't be with Doug. Not anymore, I've come to realise that. He's no good for me, and I'm no good for him. It wasn't as exciting as it used to be, sly hand holding in the deli when nobody was looking, sneaking into the back when it was quiet. We never did any of that anymore. We were no good for eachother, and it's a little bit unfair to him that somebody else is always in my thoughts.

**Send to: Brendan**

_I enjoyed our chat hope you did too. I know you're still awake, takes you at least half an hour to doze off Bren ;). Come to the deli please x_

I don't even know why I added a kiss, trust me I'd deliberated over it. No harm done though because I got a swift reply.

_Do you ever sleep Steven? Seriously? It's fucking 2 in the morning. I'll only come if I get a free jam sandwich deal?_

A small smile escaped my lips.

_Deal. x_

* * *

**Review please :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi! I'm in a good mood today because Kieron Richardson [Ste] actually said my name on the radio and I might have squealed and smiled a little!**

**Here's the next chapter of this story. Oh, and a few of you said you liked quite a bit of dialogue in the story so I've made this chapter have more than I usually would. Talking about feelings that's what we want in the show!**

**I am actually going to cry at the e4 episode tomorrow, Floods :(**

* * *

Brendan's POV

I strolled down the stairs, staring quickly looking down at clothes. Why the fuck had I even worn this shirt? The bright red one, Steven's gonna read in to it too much isn't he? He's gonna think I wore it to seduce him with, like I had all those months ago, years even. Where the hell had that time gone? October 2010. That's when it was, I had this red shirt on and we had succumbed to eachother in the cellar, finally kissed the way I wanted to when Steven had made his first advance. I thought about going back, changing my clothes but it was too late, I was outside the Steven's deli and he was staring at me and smiling.

'You came.'

'Ye suppose I did Steven.' I replied, looking anywhere but at his face.

Steven walked up to me, his eyes piercing into mine.

'I didn't think you would.'

'Why wouldn't I?'

'Dunno, I mean I've just checked and I've ran outta jam.'

He smiled at me again. He'd planned it hadn't he? Cheeky fucker.

'Steven?'

'Mhm?'

'Why did you make me come here? I've told ye why I needed to go, why I needed to get anyway from Hollyoaks for good and you're making this harder than I want it to be.'

I didn't mean to say that last bit out loud. I didn't want Steven to know I still loved him, needed him even. In my life. I lived for him, did everything to keep him safe, obviously not enough but I tried my best.

'You haven't told me everything Brendan...'

'Yeah I did.'

'No. All you said was because of me. That's nothing. That's telling me fuck all. What kind of answer is that?'

'The answer.'

'Brendan don't get smart with me. I know Doug tried to set you up...'

I looked up at him then. Had Doug told him everything? Had they split up?! 'What?!'

'He tried to set you up didn't he?'

'Yeah...'

'I knew it! He hasn't told me why though Brendan. Why would he do that?'

'Just wants me out of your life I spose. Doesn't matter though, I'm going ain't I?'

'You don't need to you know. You can stay here. I'm not happy with Doug Brendan. I don't love Doug...'

He doesn't love Doug? WHAT THE FUCK? What does that mean? Does he love me still?

'Ye don't love Doug?'

'No...I'm not in love with Doug am I?'

Steven strolled over to me, his eyes never leaving mine and I couldn't help but straight back at his. He was gonna do this wasn't he?

'Steven?'

'I love you Brendan Brady. I never stopped. Please don't go.'

'I have to go. I made a promise and I don't break promises...'

* * *

Ste's POV

A promise? I've just opened up to him and he's saying he's made a promise?!

'A promise? A promise to who?'

'God.'

Okay now I'm confused. He's made a promise to God and now he has to leave Hollyoaks. I'm no brainbox trust me, but...yeah I'm confused. Brendan must have sensed this.

'I asked God to let you live and if he did then I'd leave you alone.'

I've never been big on religion, and to be honest I never realised how much Brendan was until the last few months. He honestly belived that God would want him unhappy, just to make me live. 'Brendan.. God wouldn't want you unhappy. The nurses at the hospital..they got me better.'

'No..No I went there. I promised him, so I've got to go. And you..you've got to go back to Douglas and be happy with him.. you haven't told him you don't love him have ye?

I had tears in my eyes now. 'No..'

'Okay good. A marriage is a marriage Steven, ye need to make it work.'

I decided I needed to pour my heart out and make him listen. 'Brendan I don't want to. It was a mistake...'

Brendan tried to butt in then. '..No. Brendan listen to me for once in your life please. It was a mistake marrying Doug. I didn't want to. I just went along with it. You know that bit when they're like..oh anybody know why these people can't marry eachother? I wanted **you** to walk through and tell me you loved me and that I couldn't go through with it. And you know what? I wouldn't have. I would have left with you and I wouldn't have cared what people thought. I've never stopped loving you Brendan, nobody comes close to you okay. So if you want to go. Go. I won't stop you anymore. I realise you don't give a fuck about my feelings anymore or you wouldn't leave. God wants people to love eachother, be in relationships, support the one that they want. Be happy, but if you're gonna spare yourself that because a promise that you made to somebody that didn't even make me better; the hospital did; then fine. BE FUCKING MISERABLE. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!'

I may have shouted that last bit in his face and he did look a bit put out to be honest. I've basically just told him that God lied. I respect he believed in religion but it was true wasn't it? The nurses, the medications, the equipment that got me better. I just wanted Brendan to realise that. I wanted him to realise I still loved everything about him. He was the one for me and I wanted him to know Doug doesn't come anywhere close.

* * *

Brendan's POV

Okay that was shocking. Getting shouted straight in the face, inches apart. Everything he said made sense I suppose. I couldn't resist him anymore, even if this was the last time; I had to kiss him, even if it was goodbye. Do I want it to be goodbye? It'd have repercussions, of course it would. But I want him. I placed my hand on his cheek, and it seemed like he melted to the touch. Steven was leaning against the wall and I kissed him slowly at first, just a peck, then another and then our mouths collided. It was exactly the same as our first full blown kiss in the cellar, complete with my shirt. Steven tugged at it, obviously wanting to take it off. 'No Steven.'

'I thought...'

'I can't do this when you're still with Doug in his head. I want ye, I do, but not like this. I want ye properly..all to meself.'

'..But we can be together properly after that right?'

I nodded.

Steven leant into me again, kissing me and then touching our foreheads together.

'I love ye Steven.'

'I love you too Brendan. I'll be back, I **promise**'

* * *

Ste's POV

Well that's that sorted. I'm off to the flat to tell Doug I'm leaving him. I don't expect this to be easy, far from it. But it's something I have to do. I still cared for him, I didn't want to fuck his life up, I did want him to be happy and find somebody that was as nice as he was. It's just that someone wasn't me.

I walked to the door, shut it, locked it and looked at Brendan who was out outside now. I've got the life I've always wanted.

'You usually say don't wait up don't you?' I asked Brendan.

'Mhm..'

'Well I'm saying do.'

Brendan walked up the stairs, giving me a clear view of his arse. Perfect.

Right, now for probably the most tough task I've ever had in my life. End my marraige.

* * *

**Woah sorry for the mahussive long chapter! I know you are all expecting a sex scene in later chapters, please don't look forward to it to much cos I really cannot write them LOL**

**Review for now though please :) xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey, sorry took a little while getting this uploaded I didn't really know how to go about it. But here it is, hope it's up to expectations :)**

Ste's POV

I slowly walked towards the flat, trying to form sentences in my mind. This was going to be one the most hardest things I'll ever have to do. I knew that. But on the other hand it was going to be the most rewarding, I'd finally get what I've always wanted. The person I've always wanted. I knew Brendan had changed, he'd changed months ago, it was obvious. If anything, him changing had made me want him more. He'd accepted what and who he was.

* * *

I put my key in the door, getting the shock of my life seeing Doug sitting on the sofa in his pyjamas - he was never the sort of person to roam around the flat in just his underwear, unlike somebody else.

'Doug?'

'Ste! Ste! Where the fuck have you been. Why didn't you answer your phone? I've been worried sick! Come here...' Doug stood up, trying to grab at me, pull me into a hug. But I didn't want that, so I walked towards the kitchen. There was nothing that I wanted less to be honest than Doug's hands on me. How the fuck was I going to explain where I was? Oh I was with Brendan, kissing him, grabbing at his clothes because I wanted to fuck him so bad? I want him more than you. No. I didn't want to rub Doug's face in it.

'Out. Clear my head init?' That's all I could manage, how the hell was I going to start this conversation really? All I wanted was to get this over and done with. I just wanted to get back to Brendan, get back to the life I've always craved.

'Where did you go?'

'Deli'

'Oh right. Yeah that's fine, course that's fine'

'I don't need your approval Doug. I can do what I want or go where I want.'

He was starting to get right on my nerves again, reminding me why I was clearing my head in the first place. Doug had tried to control my life. Doug had tried to remove the very thing that I never wanted to leave my life. Brendan. Brendan fucking Brady.

'Yeah I know that Ste, I didn't mean...'

'Didn't mean what Doug? You didn't mean to try and frame Brendan for something?' I still didn't know what that something was right now and to be honest I didn't give a shit. Brendan was a good man, everything bad had been left where it belonged. The past.

'Ste I...'

'No. No you can't explain that.'

'I can try'

'That's the thing Doug. I don't want you to try. I don't even want to_ try_ to make this work anymore. It's not working is it? The little things my_ husband_ does aren't meant to grate on me as much as much as the things you do. I can't do this anymore. You know that? I can't pretend.'

'What do you mean?' Doug replied, looking up at me with his bright blue eyes, almost begging that he hadn't heard what I'd just said. 'Are you..are you leaving me?'

'Doug please don't make this harder than I want this to be. Do you honestly think we can try to make this work?'

'We can try. Ste we can try! Please! Please don't leave me'

Doug became hysterical. Grabbing at my waist, crying a fucking river. This isn't how I wanted it to be. I thought Doug would understand me when I said it wasn't working, I thought he'd feel the same way as I did. But No. Obviously he'd seen our relationship as a barrell of laughs, a bed of roses, basically the complete opposite of what I'd experienced.

'Doug...Doug..look at me. I did love you okay..'

'Did? Ste when did you stop?'

Well that was a question and a half. When did I stop? I'd asked myself that question over and over again throughout the past few months.

'I dunno.'

'Ste. Be honest with me okay. Promise?'

'Yeah.' For some reason I knew beforehand what he was going to ask. Do I tell him the truth? Do I lie?

Doug took a breathe in, sighing afterwards. 'Is there somebody else?'

I took a moment to compose myself. If I tell him the truth he's going to think I've been having an affair with Brendan. I mean I've had an affair behind other partners backs with Brendan haven't I? So why would Doug believe me when I said that I hadn't this time? And then on the other hand if I lie, I'm going straight to Brendan anyway. Doug will find out sooner or later that we're together and work out that I'd ran straight back to Brendan. Talk about dilemmas...

I was silent for what seemed forever..

'There is isn't there?'

'Doug it's not like that.'

'It's Brendan isn't it?'

'Doug. No...'

'Don't lie to me Ste. I know you. Have you cheated on me with Brendan?'

'No I haven't Doug. I haven't. I swear'

'But you're going to start where you left off when you're done with me aren't you?'

'Doug...'

'No, you know what. It's fine. I know you don't love me as much as you love him. It's obvious.'

'Doug please.'

'Please? Please what Ste? Do you expect me to be happy for you? Cos I'm not alright? You're ending our marriage for some murdering, irish scum who doesn't even accept he's gay? You do realise if you go back to him, you're gonna be hiding what you've got for the rest of your life. He won't walk along the street holding your hand. He won't kiss you like his life depended on it. You'll be lucky if he even wants to be seen in public alone with you. Good luck Ste, good luck.'

'Murdering? Doug please tell me you didn't...'

'I didn't what?'

'Tell anybody about what Brendan did..'

Doug took another breathe in.. 'You..you knew? Ste you knew? And you're going back to him?!'

'He did it for me...'

'Just fuck off Ste. You're as bad as him. I'm sorry I didn't live up to his expectations. I'm sorry I didn't kill anybody in cold blood for you. Just go and see him. I'll go to America tomorrow then you never have to see me again. I'll be gone by the time you come back here.'

'Doug...'

'No! Don't talk to me anymore Ste just fuck off... Oh and for the record, the phone got smashed in the crash, all evidence gone. It won't rain on whatever this thing you've got going on ever again. Good fucking riddence.'

Doug had something behind his eyes. Frustration? Anger? Whatever it was, he wanted to hit me. I know he did. I knew he never would, Doug wasn't like that, but it still scared me. I suppose I deserved it in a way.

* * *

I had tears streaming down my face, I hadn't even grabbed my hoody, I'd tossed it on the floor once I'd walked into the flat and in a rush to get away from Doug I'd forgot to put it back on. That's how I got here. In the village with just my tshirt to cover my bare arms. I didn't want it to end like this. I didn't expect Doug would be as angry as he was. I thought he'd get it. He'd get that it would never work between us. Too much had gone on in the eight months we'd been together, too much to handle.

I couldn't breathe, I was hyperventilating as I knocked on the familiar blue door. Brendan answered, he smiled as he realised it was me, but that smile vanished once he'd noticed my tears.

Taking my head into his chest he soothed me.

'It's okay Steven, I'm here...'


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey everyone, hope you all had a nice Xmas. I apologise for this in advance, I chickened out of the erm 'graphic' parts sorry LOL. You don't even need to read this actually...**

_Chapter 6 - Last Chapter._

I felt safe in Brendan's arms. I always had really. Whenever I was hugging Doug and his small frame I just wished it was Brendan embracing me; Brendan and his muscles.

'I'm sorry..' I didn't really know what else to say. I mean I'd just broken up with someone, someone I actually planned on breaking up with and I was crying over him. What the fuck?

'It's fine. No need to apologise Steven. Take it that it didn't go according to plan then?' Brendan stopped at that moment, removing his hands, backing away and looking me square in the face. 'How about a drink and then you can tell me all about it hm?'

I nodded, taking a seat on the sofa. Brendan's sofa, vague memories came flooding back.

Brendan walked over to the drink's cabinet, returning with 2 glasses of whisky and passing me one before sitting down himself.

'Ta...'

'This is where it all started eh? Me giving you a drink, this sofa, then I tripped ye up and ye landed over there..' Brendan said, gesturing to the sofa opposite.

'You planned it?' I smiled, just to show him I was messing. I didn't care anymore that Brendan had planned it that night. I'm glad he did in a way. I mean say he didn't, we might not be here now. I'd probably still be the old Ste. The plain Ste Hay, local chav, into women. Not the Ste I am now, deli-owner, in love with a man Ste Hay...

'Maybe I did Steven. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. It's gonna be different this time I promise. Ye mean alot to me ya'know.'

'I know...'

'So ye wanna talk about it? Up to ye. I don't mind whether ye do or ye don't.'

'Doug said some horrible things, he told me everything Brendan. I'm sorry Brendan, if I knew then...'

'Steven it's fine. It's not your fault. Don't ever blame yourself okay?'

Brendan moved along the sofa, sitting right next to me with no space in between us. I leaned forward, forgetting all thoughts of Doug. All thoughts of the past year or so. I was where I wanted to be, with the man I wanted to be with. The man I could see a future with. I loved him, that's why I kissed him. Kissed him like there was no tomorrow.

'Woah Steven, bit keen ain't ye?'

'I've waited too long for this Brendan, don't make me wait any longer.. fuck me please.'

'Ye sure?'

'I've never been more sure of anything...'

* * *

We didn't even make it to the bedroom. Hardly surprising. I've been waiting months for that to happen. For Brendan to finally be inside of me again, where he belongs. It was special, it was more 'making love' than just a quick petty shag. It was different, as if we were a proper couple now, a proper devoted couple who were ready to face the whole world. I love him more than I ever thought possible.

My thoughts were interrupted by a voice. An Irish voice. 'Ye okay Steven?'

'Never better...'

'Think we better go to bed now yeah? The sun'll be rising in a minute.'

I stood up, grabbing his hand to pull him up to join me.

'I love you Brendan Brady.'

'I love you too Steven Hay. Now come on, you're spending the night here. In my bed. Then tomorrow we are going to go on our first proper date.'

'Your getting soft in your old age you know?'

'You make me soft Steven...'

I glanced down at Brendan's cock. 'Hardly soft baby...'

'Shut up you..' Brendan replied smiling at me.

This was for keeps now. I just knew it. My whole life was changing, changing for the better and I for one couldn't wait to see what it would bring.

* * *

**Review please, I aint 100% happy with this chapter. But Hey ho. I'm having Stendan withdrawals on the main show, what do you expect? :) x**


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